Weight Woes

I’m looking for a pity party here.  Yep, totally want to sit and wallow in my poor me.  My insides hurt and I just want take out to drown my sorrows in.  I stayed strong and did not stop.  I looked at every take out menu in my car (that’s a lot) lol and drove up the back hill so I wouldn’t drive past any of them.  I want sushi and I want big chunky french fries.

I know it’s because I am in a bad mood and am tired of not feeling good.  I’m making a grilled chicken salad for lunch and no, I’m not going to feel better for doing it.  But the scale will thank me.  lol

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It’s so hard to not emotional eat.  We have had a big tragedy at our fire department and this has led to some comfort food and of course to more drinking than usual.  I am happy to report that my portions of the less than perfect food are better so I’m staying right around where I should be.  But that is not good enough.

I was just talking to hubby today about what he wants me to bring down for dinner.  Nothing even sounds good because we’ve been eating out too much this week as we deal with things.  But he’s working a 72 hour shift and we need to go down to the station and see him.

I have a bunch of salads that need to be eaten and he said we can pick up baked chicken at our grocery store.  So we won’t be eating all that bad and I can get the others on shift today to help eat the salads.  I’m sick of them.  lol

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This is the time of year I have a huge problem.  We get together with friends all the time and there is always a lot of food and drink.

One big difference this year is I am now severely lactose intolerant.  Can’t even look at the stuff without getting sick.  That limits my choices of things I can have and makes me HAVE to bring food.  Well if I’m gonna bring food, it’s gonna be healthier.

Also because of this lactose issue I can go days with barely eating.  Not healthy, but after getting sick my stomach just won’t take much.  And then my portions get super small because my stomach has shrunk so much.

I know this has kept me from going overboard on the food the past couple of weeks.  I am eating junk, but the portions are so small that my calorie counts are still where they should be.  YIPPEE!

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I’m eating really bad over the last week.  Uncontrollably bad.  What is wrong with me?  It doesn’t even taste that good.  I know it is emotional eating because my allergies are bad and my back hurts and if my stomach doesn’t hurt it’s another miracle.  But still, those are excuses and excuses are lame.

So right now it has to stop.  The next meal will be healthy.  Tomorrow will be healthy from breakfast one and breakfast will be at 4:30 am when I get up.  No waiting until I get home at 6:30 to eat breakfast.  That doesn’t work, it’s too long to wait to eat.

K, I feel better now.  Start right now and move forward.

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Yep, it was my bday week.  I was ok for a lot of it.  Got some seriously good cardio in on a few days.  And some great weights in on some others.  But my weekend has been out of control.  I ate worse this weekend for my bday party and the days following than I did on my bday.  lol

Thankfully my weight has not changed much.  I attribute this to portions.  We went out to lunch on Friday and I brought half of my food home with me.  That was what I ate for dinner last night.  Then I had a few nacho’s for dinner, but it was almost all alcohol and diet coke’s.  shhhh, I know, but I danced most of those calories off.  lol  I stuck to straight shots and things with diet coke.  There were no fluffy sugary drinks.

I weighed in this morning (sunday) at 177 and I’m so damn proud of that!  My goal is still 165, so that is still only 12 pounds away.  I do think I need to go under 165, but that is a good place to hit and then go from there.  I’m fluctuating about 2 pounds here and there each week depending on my food of course.  As long as I keep my cardio up and keep jogging at least twice a week I can keep this under control.  I will slowly take off pound by pound and keep it off.  As it stands, even with my not eating very healthy foods, I am staying well under the 180’s.  I can do this!

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Amazing, doing what I tell others pays off.  lol  No, it’s all about being ready to commit and I’ve just not been there.  I did a lot of the excuse with
the bad food being in the house.  It took our pantry and fridge being empty for me to get under control.  We’ve been down to just the bare basics for the last week because neither of us had time to go shopping.  I quit eating the crap and it made me stop the emotional eating.  Obviously, cause my comfort foods weren’t there.  This week when I needed something a little extra, it was low fat ritz (that’s a splurge for me, lol) and laughing cow swiss cheese.  Love that cheese.  I even have some Krab i can put on it, mmm, that will be yummy as a snack today.

So portions had to get under control because the house didn’t have an abundant supply of food.  I let the kids dish up first and that left me with much smaller portions.  Oh and I’ve been over stressed.  That is the only time I don’t eat.  Every other emotion brings me right to food, but when the panic attacks start, I’m not hungry.

So it’s thursday and I have lost over 4 pounds in a week.  Most of it I lost over the weekend.  I’ll take it and keep it off, doesn’t matter to me how it came off.  So I weighed in this morning 10:30 at 177.5.  WOOHOO, comfortably in the 170’s and still going down as I was around 179 on Tues.

This morning I’ve slowly burned 375 calories and I haven’t done my cardio workout yet.  I was just killing time while the gym is quiet.  Tonight I have a consultation newbie appointment.  Then hubby and his buddy are coming in to work out.  I’ll hopefully be able to hit weights with them and then cardio later on with my client.

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I’ve rocked the workouts this week.  It’s finally friday and I’ve jogged 3 days.  Hubby and I are going to go jog outside in a few hours, he had too much breakfast and can’t do cardio yet.  lol  But alas, I’ve burned about 1800 calories on cardio machines in 4 days and I’m up to 181.5 again.  My food has to be out of control.  So it’s back to fitday.com and documenting everything.  I’ve got to, I’m working way too hard not to be losing.  I’m going to end up getting frustrated really soon and then not doing my cardio again.  That’s just not good.  So I’ll document my food and put it in the fitday site.  They have a version I can buy to keep on my computer and I just may purchase that the first of the year.  At first I couldn’t see why I would want to since the site has free accounts.  But it’s for the times like right now when I don’t have internet.  I could be loading it in there right now while I sit here writing programs at the gym.

I did a good leg workout today and my hips hurt.  My butt was killing me earlier, but I’m sure it will be worse tomorrow.  lol  I only got 100 calories on the bike, that sucks.  I’m going back to the gym tomorrow so I will hit some hard cardio.  I don’t plan on doing weights.  Just cardio and abs.

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Ok, it’s not any better, in fact it could be worse. I honestly haven’t weighed in yet, but I know I have to. The beginning of the week was a horrible weight. I’d gained 3+ pounds. I had eaten quite well, but then I had microbrews on Sunday and those are a ton of calories. So not happy with myself for that. I’ve worked on my portions this week. Even though I had nachos yesterday, I didn’t go crazy on them and ate a ton of the meat with less chips. For dinner I had a med. size salad and then a french dip made with the roast from dinner the night before. Before I’d probably have had two as they weren’t very big, but one was enough.

I’m back on my shakes in the morning. It’s hard to grab anything else when you want to sleep in til the last second. lol And I’m doing the lean efx as well so I won’t be so reliant on caffiene and the extra calories that can bring. One step down.

Yesterday I did an hour of extra moving, 20 min. of it could be considered cardio. Burned an extra 425 calories total. Today I jumped on the bike already (it’s only 7:30 am) and got a 100 calories out of the way. I’m going to do my cardio workout here in a few minutes. I’d hope to wait until the gym cleared out as I just don’t feel like having anyone here while I do it. lol Then I will also hit cardio before my evening appointment. I may hit it with my last appointment as well. I really need it, so why not?

Well the scale is better today than it was on Monday. It still sucks though. I will log into the Biggest Loser Club and keep track of my progress better. I also need to print off the menu’s for the next couple of weeks with the shopping list so hubby can get groceries. So today my weigh in is 182.5 and I hate to even type that. But also, I lost 1.5 pounds in the last two days. I weighed in at 184 on Monday morning.

My workout so far today is rockin and I still have another one to fit in later today. I just finished 35 min. on the summit trainer for 350 calories and then walked to get my HR back down and did another 50 calories. total of 400 on that and the 100 on the bike. I’m at 500 for the day so far and I will get another one in later today plus a walk or bike.

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How the hell do you do it everyday?  I’m usually good once or twice a week, but I’ve signed back on with a prior client and I said yes to 3 days a week of 5am!  YIKES, what am I thinking.  K, paying bills is what I’m really thinking.  But on the good health front, I also get on the treadmill or elliptical for a few minutes at least.  Nothing crazy, but it’s still calories.

But my main problem is my eating schedule is way out of whack on these days.  I have got to seriously start packing food.  I HAVE to get up to costco and buy some meal replacement bars.  I don’t ever get out of the gym at the time I think I will.  lol  So on my early riser days I usually start out good, but then I don’t have anything from 6:30 or 7 until 1ish.  Would I not rip a client a new one for doing this?

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Guilty, guilty, guilty.  Yes, I know that most people do eat for emotional reasons and this is what leads to weight problems.  I know this, I’ve taken classes on this.  But that doesn’t make it any less easy for myself.  Again, today is day 2 of being conscience of it.  I’m honestly leaving myself no choice.  I’m putting on the pounds quickly and I need the money.  I can’t make money if I don’t lose the weight.  What kind of example am I setting by gaining weight?

It is difficult when I am surrounded by places that smell of greasy food.  But I’m not going to carry cash on my person.  I won’t buy it if I have to get my cash card out to pay for it.  It takes extra time to think about it then.

For dinner last night hubby made an awesome steak dinner with baby red potatoes.  AHHHHHHHHHH, my first day of eating good and I’m getting testing with this?  I honestly was prepared for it to be pizza, so I went home with a different mindset.  If it was pizza I was going to make myself a salad.  End of story.  Since it was steak, I had about 4 ounces and made sure and cut off any excess fat.  I did eat the sauteed mushrooms, but I combined the mushrooms with the broccoli.  ;)  Nothing needed on the broccoli this way.  Then I know that starches are my downfall.  I left the potatoes in the container they were in the fridge and I had about a quarter of one cold.  Guess what?  It didn’t taste very good cold and I didn’t want anymore.  lol  Boy, that worked accidently.  lol  I was way too lazy to heat anything up.  About an hour after that I did have a cheesestick and some triscuits.  But all in all,I was spot on under 1800 calories.

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